I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Randomize
