I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
