It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Randomize