When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
