You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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