I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
