You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
