I cockslap morals
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
