grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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