Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
