my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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