Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
