I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
