you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
