Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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