Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
it was like eating out sand paper
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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