So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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