I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
