you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I can't put those talents on a resume
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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