There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize
