i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
