Whod you bang
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
