it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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