Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize
