Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Randomize
