God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
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