Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
