On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
