We got so high we made milksteak
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
