is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize