Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
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