You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
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