Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Please, let me fuck your mom
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
