i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
