Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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