Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
God I need to hump something, right now.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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