I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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