He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
