Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
