i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
