Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
