can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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