I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
It's shark week go big or go home
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
