But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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