There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
