JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
