He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize