R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
