just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Randomize
