I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
