My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
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