I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
