after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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