How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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