We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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