2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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