dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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