Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
