She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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