Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
is it fun? or sober?
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
