I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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